Butterfly Effect
A butterfly is a small creature that has bright or dull-colored wings, forever symbolizing change, hope, and life. Butterfly is an insect that soars through the skies and lies in flowers. This fluttering creature brings eternal beauty to gardens, public parks, and the world. Children chase butterflies, screaming in joy as they land on their little noses. However, butterflies are ultimately one of the most terrifying creatures to come onto this planet. From the beginning of their life cycle to the moment they break free, it is quite petrifying. Their life cycle consisting of four stages: the egg, caterpillar, cocoon, and the emergence of a butterfly. In every stage, there’s some type of plot twist. That’s why butterflies bring a chill to my spine, as each phase strikes fear in my heart.
The egg: being born to a dysfunctional family wasn’t the best when it came to my mental health. The expectations were put high on the way I dressed, looked, and how I performed in school. Our thoughts never aligned with one another causing nothing but chaos in the house. The loud bangs and slams of objects against the wall, as I put my hands to my ears in agony. The suffocating atmosphere intensifies as my mother’s presence dominates the room. Her anger rising as she screams “you’re not good enough!” I flinch and she’s gone in a matter of seconds. I knew I wasn’t the “perfect” child. I was just afraid of what she’d do next. Afraid that she’d shatter the last remnants of my hope.
Caterpillar: a small, 5'3 girl walking around with her head in the clouds, confused and lost. She is constantly carrying the expectations of being a perfect daughter on her back. The ceaseless screaming. The tears falling down my cheeks as I choke back the cries for help. My mother filled my head with thoughts that still lingers through my mind. A car of never-ending thoughts slamming into each part of my brain. The life draining out of me as my body begins to shrink and shrivel. Soon enough my mind begins to shut out and as the depression collapses time. Minutes begin to seem like hours, hours seem like days, all of it blending together, creating an endless loop of suffering. As my life falls to pieces, I wrap myself up in my blanket and never leave.
Cocoon: I met some of the most incredible people that helped me discover the meaning of hope. I was able to leave the house with the purpose of enjoying myself. From sunset walks to the beach, random trips to the mall to the late-night walks. Every moment with them made me feel alive again, as if they were the missing puzzle piece to my life. Light soared through, blinding the darkness of my past. My mind blurring the parts of pain, as it slowly paints it with bliss. The butterfly rustling around, applying pressure to the remaining bit of agony.
Butterfly: at last, I escaped the dark hole in my life. I made it to the garden that is filled with flowers and children laughing. No longer did I succumb to my mother’s opinions. I was able to learn that struggles are a part of our lives, and if there weren’t any, we could never fly, I would not be the person without my past, but it does not define me and who I can be in the future. I came, I saw, I conquered. I am proud of the person I have come to be and hope to help others. Overcome their fears too. I realized fears don’t silence you, they only serve to make you stronger. That is why I am no longer afraid of butterflies.
