"I've buried my old self, but the new one isn't much better."
i've changed myself to the better and the worse, i've met the 'other' side of myself. the 'rock bottom' me. the most negative me, the anxious, the fearful, the hopeless, the worst.
but in the middle of it, i also found the better me. the wise, the calm, the fearless, the hopeful, the best.
I'm breaking, and healing, at the same time, my vision is blurrier than ever. but also clearer than ever. i see this world in grey now, not black and white anymore.
I'm not happy. I'm not sad either. now i'm just becoming the new me. a thousand miles away from the old me, and i often feel sad, because every time i open up my old photograph, i just didn't recognize myself at all. i didn't recognize my smile and laughter. i didn't even recognize all of my friends. now we're all strangers to each other.
but despite it all, i'm fine. or at least i'm trying to. this is the new me, which is no better than my old self. just wiser, than ever.
